Testimonio

“If I were to be completely honest with myself I’d want this story to be completely confidential because I’m not really comfortable sharing this to anyone, so I’ll opt to hide under a pseudonym instead.

My name is Alex and i experienced what it’s like to be harassed by my own friend:

It was when I was in sixth grade, I had a friend – a boy- Let’s call him “Chicken”. “Chicken” and I were close friends before but that was only at first. “Chicken”, one day he called me out and asked for “K” – a term he used to refer to sex or in slang “kantot.” Anyways, he asked me for “K” and I was a bit offended because I had an inkling of what he meant but I just ignored it at first because I really didn’t know what he meant by “K” and I wasn’t so sure about what it actually meant.

Two days passed and I witnessed my classmates having a fight with him, later they demand me to spill the beans what “Chicken” did wrong to me so they could add more things when they report it to our teacher.

I tell them what happened and they were all shocked and they said “You need to go tell it to your auntie.” I was confused, I was wondering what “K” meant and asked them why it was such a bad thing but they refused to answer it.

When I got home later that day I asked my aunt about it. “Who told you that word?” I remember her asking me, and I told her that it was “Chicken” when my aunt realized what that boy had said to me, she got mad. After explaining it to me she went to my school and talked to my adviser and school guidance counselor regarding the matter. Soon they sent “Chicken” to the guidance office though they only sent him off with a warning.

He apologized to me after the matter and I said I would forgive him. Days passed and he hadn’t done or said anything bad to me and I thought that it would continue to be that way- though that wasn’t really the case: It started off with annoying and petty little pranks that I would let pass, I ignored the times that he took things from my bag without notice, taking my homework and copying them – threatening me that if I wouldn’t let him copy my homework he would kill me” but you have to understand that I thought that he was just kidding around like usual, so those kinds of things I would just have laughed it off.

Then it got worse: He started calling me names, he called me a monster even when I was not around, he would pester me by telling it to my face or whenever he would pass by me in the hallways. He called me a monster even when talking to my other classmates – of course everyone noticed this he even talks like this when he interacts with my best friend of all people. My best friend confronted me about the matter but I brushed it off and told her “It’ll be okay. I’ll tell my auntie about it.” And I did so as soon as I got home.

The next day, my auntie came to my school to speak to “chicken” but the school guidance refused and told her that they would give her updates regarding to what “chicken” did. So then “chicken” goes to guidance after that and the guidance counselor and our adviser tells me to explain what happened, so I tell them and they asked “chicken”, “is Alex the monster?” He lies to them and says, “no and it’s my classmate named Clark. Then they called Clark to the guidance office, he denies that he is the one “Chicken” calls “Monster” even in jokes but “Chicken” – who was caught in a lie still kept trying to lie his way out.

The situation escalated when he threw a fit and even threatened to throw a chair at me after a nasty exchange of words at recess(He insulted my family, I couldn’t let that pass) I told him “Go ahead, throw a chair at me… but remember I’ll be seeing you in the guidance office!”I guess he got scared because he didn’t throw it in the end.

And while my auntie waited for me downstairs, to check what disciplinary action gives and I tell her that chicken, tried to throw the chair to me, she was angry and said chicken needs to be suspended. In the end, Chicken got suspended.

His harassment continued even until before graduation. When we were practicing he tripped me and I fell. He laughed at me while some of my friends tried helping me up. Some of my other friends couldn’t do anything else but stare for fear that something bad would happen to them if they tried to help me. All through that year he bullied and harassed me – backstabbing was common ground when it came to him. I just ignored him because I thought that it would all stop when I transferred schools. I was so mad at him and I wanted to take revenge but my aunt told me this: “Why would you lower yourself to his level if you could be better?”

I followed my aunt’s advice: I didn’t even give him the time of day ad instead focused on being a better me. I coped up with what he did to me by trying my hardest to be better, eventually I got good grades (grades way higher than his) I gained self confidence because of this. I overcame them by praying to God.

Up till now I was so scared of “Chicken” and other people like him, because of him I gained inferiorit complex and was scared to talk to new people, I even had trust issues with boys because I couldn’t get it out of my head that they would do the same as he did. Even now when I think and open up about those times they come flashing back to me like in the TV or the movies. I even cry because I realize that it was so far in the past and I became a different me. I wasn’t the same old “Alex” that he used to know.

If I could change anything in the past I would change how tolerant I was of him. I would have stood up for myself much earlier than I did back then. I will not tolerate that kind of treatment even if its joke, don’t think your weak person, always be confident about yourself, and be more courageous that time.

But what about the now? What would I feel if I saw him? People have asked me this question whenever I open up this topic to them, I’d always tell them “nothing”, I will just look at him starting from the foot up to head, stand straight and just smile. And yes, I already forgave him as it was said in the homily “Love your enemies as you love yourself” and through the story of God going to cross to sacrifice his life for our sins for the people to be forgive, why can’t we do that? And I always say, “I can forgive, but I cannot forget because I choose not to forget.” The memories and scratches will remain and can’t be erased but these dents have changed me in a positive way like as I said I coped up with my self confidence, having high grades and do things that I can’t do before.

In conclusion I learned to not underestimate yourself and don’t tolerate those kind of treatment and always remember that they are people who will be on your side no matter what and believes you and your family will always be here for you and that God will guide you because these are the times them that you will trust this matter and build the self confidence, overcome the fears that you have.”